How watching this...


Led me to this...


beautiful.
(Just ignore the subs)

Hehe, hopefully this will be my holidays. I've come to the conclusion that I enjoy days of doing nothing the most. =)

So my last paper was today, and I decided to tumblr/Google-image the word "freedom" because there are treasures to be found. And you know how people always say a picture paints a thousand words? I've decided that it can be true. =)

This is how I feel at the moment. Like there's a wind blowing and the sun's shining and I can just stand there and enjoy the feel of it.

And a few more gems:







And also:

To be Christ's captive is to be completely free.
- Elisabeth Elliot

I am free to run
I am free to dance
I am free to live for You
I am free
Yes, I am free
I am free!
- Newsboys

One more day... =)
Sorry that this has been dead for so long. Just dropping by to express my thinly-veiled anticipation for tomorrow. =)

I miss you already... =(

Quotes...

"Each of us, in the journey through mortality, will travel his own Jericho Road. What will be your experience? What will be mine? Will I fail to notice him who has fallen among thieves and requires my help? Will you? Will I be one who sees the injured and hears his plea, yet crosses to the other side? Will you? Or will I be one who sees, who hears, who pauses, and who helps? Will you?"
-Thomas S. Monson

"If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much."
-Marian Wright Edelman

"We, and all others who believe in freedom as deeply as we do, would rather die on our feet than live on our knees."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out."
- Vaclav Havel

"Everywhere in these days people have, in their mockery, ceased to understand that the true security is to be found in social solidarity rather than in isolated individual effort. But this terrible state of affairs must inevitably have an end, and all will suddenly understand how unnaturally they are separated from one another. It will be the spirit of the time, and people will marvel that they have sat so long in darkness without seeing the light... But, until then, we must keep the banner flying. Sometimes even if he has to do it alone, and his conduct seems to be crazy, a man must set an example, and so draw other souls out of their solitude, and spur them to some act of brotherly love, that the great idea may not die."
-Fydor Dostoevsky, "The Brothers Karamozov"

"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly."
-Patrick Overton

Swing Low Sweet Chariot sung by Kathleen Battle and Boys' Choir of Harlem

Goodbye...

Rest in peace, Ah Kong.

I have a dream...

Look At Yourself After Watching This...

Taken from a friend's facebook page.
It really opens one's eyes to all that we take for granted, to the woe-be-me attitude so prevalent today. Yet, what we do not see is what matters the most.

Lost Generation...

Powerful...

So this concludes week 2 of my GP rotation... Had lectures/tutorials on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, GP clinic on Tuesday and ophthalmology on Thursday.
It was an eventful week, especially with trying to get to my GP's clinic. See, I keyed in the address of the clinic into Metlink and it directed me to that place. What I didn't realise was that there are 2 places with the same address, but they're in 2 different suburbs. And guess what? I ended up in the wrong suburb. I realised it when I walked past the place and it looked like a house. So I called them up, and got the address, then went back to Oakleigh, went to an internet cafe and keyed in the right address plus suburb into Metlink in order to find out how to get there. Sigh. Fortunately, everyone at the clinic was nice, and apparently, this has happened before, so they understood my circumstances. I managed to give a few IM injections - everyone's getting the flu vaccinations.
In ophthalmology clinic, I think four of us were a bit lost and ended with the surgical team. Which was cool, because we got to observe cataract surgery and a few injections of Lucentis. The surgeon was very keen to teach, which was great, and he explained the operation to us.

Gary's on the plane now flying back to Malaysia after 12 weeks in Melbourne. We had a sharing/farewell of sorts for him at lifegroup just now. Oh and we climbed 1000 steps in Mount Dandenong last Sunday as well. I nearly died going up there. Had to stop and rest a few times. And Melissa, Chyi Wei and myself thought that the kookaburras were laughing at our level of fitness. But fortunately, there were no lasting effects from that climb on Monday, for which I'm extremely grateful. Although this reminds me that I really need to start exercising. Sigh. =( And eating healthier. =(
Haha, although today, in the wound management lecture, the lecturer did advise that dark chocolate everyday is good for blood pressure and skin. And yes, it's EVERYDAY. No need to convince me of the benefits of that. =P

* * *

Life can seem overwhelming at times, but encouragement comes in many little ways. A word from a friend, a familiar voice over the crackle of static on the phone, a whisper in the wind, a ray of light breaking through the cover of grey... how often to we take time to fully enjoy them? To bask in the warmth of the beauty of it all? To revel in the comfort of a family's love?
I need to remind myself to stop and smell the roses.

Theme Songs from Cartoons Past...

I love this song. It brings back so many memories of my childhood.



I remember how my sister used to make fun of me for crying whenever I hear this song. And how I heard this song played countless times during the 6 months I was in Singapore. How Jennifer, Yit An and I searched for the score and spent hours in the music room in HCIBS playing this song on the piano.

I miss watercolour animation. Old school is the best for me.

We are the world 25 for Haiti...

[Justin Bieber]
There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
[Nicole Scherzinger & Jennifer Hudson]
When the world must come together as one
[Jennifer Hudson]
There are people dying
[Jennifer Nettles]
And it’s time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all
[Josh Groban]
We can’t go on
Pretending day by day
[Tony Bennet]
that someone, somehow will soon make a change
[Mary J Blige]
We are all a part of
God’s great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

[Chorus]
[Michael Jackson]
We are the world
We are the children
[Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson]
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
[Barbra Streisand]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

[Miley Cyrus]
Send them your heart
So they’ll know that someone cares
[Enrique Iglesias]
so their cries for help
will not be in vain
[Nicole Scherzinger]
We can’t let them suffer
no we cannot turn away
[Jamie Foxx]
Right now they need a helping hand
[Wyclef Jean]
Nou se mond la
We are the Children
[Adam Levine]
We are the ones who make a brighter day
so lets start giving
[Pink]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
[BeBe Winans]
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

[Michael Jackson]
When you’re down and out
There seems no hope at all
[Usher]
But if you just believe
There’s no way we can fall
[Celine Dion]
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change can only come
[Fergie]
When we stand together as one

[Chorus - All]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
[Nick Jonas]
Got to start giving
[All]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
[Toni Braxton]
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me
[Mary Mary]
We are the world
We are the children
[Tony Bennet]
Its for the children
[Isaac Slade]
We are the ones who make a brighter day
[Toni Braxton]
So lets start giving

[Lil Wayne]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

[Chorus - All]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
[Akon]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we make a better day
Just you and me

[T-Pain]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
[Jamie Foxx imitating Ray Charles]
Choice we're making
saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

[Rapping - LL Cool J, Will-I-Am, Snoop Dogg, Busta Rhymes, Swizz Beatz]
We all need somebody that we can lean on
when you wake up look around and see that your dream's gone
when the earth quakes we’ll help you make it through the storm
when the floor breaks a magic carpet to stand on
we are the World united by love so strong
when the radio isn’t on you can hear the songs
a guided light on the dark road your walking on
a sign post to find the dreams you thought was gone
someone to help you move the obstacles you stumbled on
someone to help you rebuild after the rubble’s gone
we are the World connected by a common bond
Love the whole planet sing it along
[Wyclef]
CABARETT

[Chorus - All]

[Kanye West]
Everyday citizens
everybody pitching in

[Singing - Children & Wyclef Jean]
Nou se mond la
nou se timoun yo

[Will-I-Am]
You and I
You and I
[Kanye West]
Uh, 12 days no water
whats your will to live?
[Will-I-Am]
we amplified the love we watch it multiply
[Kanye West]
Feeling like the World's end
we can make the World win
[Will-I-Am]
Like Katrina, Africa, Indonesia
and now Haiti needs us, the need us, they need us

[Chorus - All]
[Wyclef Jean]
Ayiti, Ayiti, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay
Ayiti, Ayiti, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay
Ayiti, Ayiti, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay, Ay
lyrics courtesy of www.killerhiphop.com
[End]

*

Really thank Grace for telling me about this song. =) Beautiful, meaningful and inspirational. It makes one feel like there's still hope, you know? And that we can be a part of making that hope a reality...

Sporadic updates...

Hmm... my updates seem to be more sporadic as days pass me by. I suppose the inclination to blog fluctuates depending on what goes on in my life.
I started my adult inpatient psych rotation this week, and it's been... OK. My opinion on psych as a whole can be summed up by these 2 letters. It's amazing how perceptive the consultants and registrars are, how insightful they can be when it comes to piecing the fragments of the patient's story together, how they seem to know so much. I remember when one of them drew the attention of the class of 8 medical students to the fact that what happened in the patient's family in the past could be related to the current mental illness that the patient has in the present. The whole room echoed with the revelatory "oh~". Yet I find myself feeling... underwhelmed? dissatisfied? disgruntled? I'm not sure but I do know that psych is not a particular interest of mine.
I saw yet another patient restrained this week. The patient was very intent on banging his head on the door of the room he was in, and was running full speed headlong into said door. The male nurse in the room rugby-tackled him to stop him and then pressed the duress alarm. Within minutes the room was swarmed by all the staff and personnel on the ward. The patient was actively swearing and was later placed in seclusion.
Had life group today. Enjoyed it very much, especially the Yu Wan and Fawn Special. =) And was strongly reminded that:

It's all about You, Jesus,
And all this is for You,
For Your glory and Your name,
It's not about me,
As if You should do things my way,
You alone are God,
And I surrender, to Your ways.

Hospital life...

Hmm..., so I've just completed my rotation in the aged psychiatric ward, and have seen the fair share of rather aggressive patients. The first one was male elderly gentleman who refused his medications. He kept coming by the nurses' station, insisting that his cigarettes were kept there. He got angry when the nurses couldn't find them and due to some unfortunate circumstances and perhaps carelessness on our part, he entered the nurses' station to rummage through the drawers himself. The medical staff then left the station and called security to remove him. He was then placed in seclusion, where he ripped a toenail off by banging against the doors. And all along, the cigarettes were actually with him, and he had dropped them onto the floor. The second one was also an elderly gentleman who presented with paranoid delusions and had a background of aggression and violence. He was certain that the medical staff were preventing his family from visiting him and insisted on leaving the ward. Medical staff had to call security in order to give him his zuclopenthixol acetate injection. The snag was that he was so strong and muscular and fit that at least 5 guards were required to subdue him. The area was cleared and each security guard took hold of a limb and one stabilised the trunk. They then lifted him into seclusion and had to restrain him so that the nurse could give him his injection. The third was an elderly gentleman who somehow got hold of a branch with a sharp end. He was holding it threateningly and was subdued by 2 nurses. He was then placed in the HDU but somehow got out of it and almost managed to enter the nurses' station, where my friend and I were getting our duress alarms.
It was quite scary to see the situations where the patients were escalating and becoming aggressive and menacing. Yet at the same time, I have to remind myself that they are unwell, that they are not always that threatening. And it makes me realise that the nurses in the psych wards are amazing - brave and calm in the face of the storm.
That said however, my experience at the aged psych ward was a fulfilling one. Affa and I got to call patients' relatives and GPs, write in patients' files and even presented an MSE during the team meeing in front of the consultant. =) We felt like part of the treating team, that we were helping the intern and the registrars, that we were contributing and not merely wallflowers. We were so proud and excited at getting to write in the notes. Imagine being excited about paperwork, LOL.
My next rotation is adult inpatient psychiatric ward. I wonder how it will be like...

Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Slice of my life...

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone! And Happy Valentine's Day too! =)
Today started at 8.45 for me, as Zhi Lin and I had arranged to go to Springvale to buy groceries. And Calvin hitched a ride from Zhi Lin as well. =) It was a hassle trying to find a parking space in Springvale, what with everyone doing their last minute shopping for the new year and jam-packing all the parking lots. But we managed to purchase all that we needed and left at around noon. We left the steamboat condiments at Calvin's because of the availability of the 8 fridges in the house, and marinated the chicken and pork there as well. Then I came back, had lunch and napped until 4pm.

I fried chicken for the reunion dinner at Chau Wang's, Shea Chuen's, Justina's and Jessica's new place. We had a steamboat and it was really wonderful catching up with everyone else, especially now that everyone's doing a different rotation at a different hospital. And Fi, I wore the grey shirt you gave me, ok? I didn't wear the usual T-shirts I normally sport. And I've got pics to back it up too.

And at around 10, we left for Yun Ying's, Ryan's, Jian's and Ravind's housewarming, where we played Pictionary and lit up sparklers. And Snap as well. Though I was busy eating Cheezels at that time.
All in all, today was not a bad day. Although it lacked the hype of a Chinese New Year celebration back home, it was still great to renew ties with old friends and remember that we may be physically far from home, but we stil carry a piece of it with us, in the way we treasure cultural practices like this. =)
Thanks for hosting us and making this new year away from home as similar to one at home as possible!

Humility...

It's difficult, to be truly humble... not thinking highly of oneself, to acknowledge that there are people better than you, to be comfortable with it and accept it. To not personify fake humility for the sake of compliments. Pride is a major stumbling block for me. Pride in my own abilities and strengths. Pride which has added miles to the distance between God and myself. Ah, for it to dissipate! Blown away with the winds... And in its place, love... For God, for the people around me, for myself the way He meant for it to be. And with love, a sense of belonging, an answer to a calling, a completion of a previously unfinished works...

My back finally stopped aching. How fortunate, yeah?
I really admire the child psychiatrists I've been shadowing. Their mental toughness is something that I really want to have. Because no matter how tired they are after speaking to child after child after adolescent after adolescent, they still persist in giving their best in what they do.
Guess it's a short one today.

Fears...

Today I sat in on one of the consultant interviews with an involuntary patient. It was, to me, a difficult interview because the interviewee was not forthcoming with the answers and I did not manage to get a clear picture of what the situation was like. The family background was also not a conducive one, with the case manager mentioning that it was a pathological family. There were many issues surrounding said patient's hospitalization, including the relationship with both parents and violence and aggression management. But I think that it was an eye opener and something that I have to learn, because the only interviews I've done for this rotation have been on simulated patients.
Anyway, my back still aches... and I'm wondering if I should see a doctor or a physiotherapist. Sigh. I'll give it one more day.
Wan Jie and I have been telling each other that we find references to mental health everywhere now that we're in this rotation. LOL. But I suppose that fact holds true in any rotation that I've done - I become paranoid (and I'm using this term loosely) and find signs/symptoms of conditions that I've just learnt in myself. LOL.
But I suppose that because the mind is such a fluid thing, with so much uncertainty, so much room for error, that I have to admit that I am afraid of saying the wrong thing, reacting wrongly that I may cause irreparable damage. That fear that I would not be able to uphold the Hippocratic oath to first do no harm. Sigh.
Listening to Falling Slowly by Kris Allen. Beautiful song.

Resuscitation...

So I've been walking around like an old lady (or at least I think I do) because of my backache, but other than that, everything's been normal. Started my first day on the children's and adolescents' psych ward. It's a very different experience compared to the more traditional, conservative, stereotypical wards. There are no ward rounds and the boundaries between the many health providers available are not as clearly delineated as in, say, the cardiology ward or any of the surgical wards. There are various inpatient services provided and the way they manage the teenagers is through what they term 'milieu therapy'. It's thought provoking because while it's not as 'medicine' as what one may expect, it cannot be denied that it works with the target population. So Afrah and I sat in on one of the interviews the consultant conducted and then joined in the group activities that formed part of milieu therapy. Had a tutorial and was back home at 3pm, which is good because it's early, but not-so-good in that I'm in my room when it feels like an oven due to the setting sun's rays. Passed Ivy her preserved plums as well. =)
Met up with Sharon, Yi Xin, Celine and Cass for dinner to catch up. It's been quite a while since we all sat down and had a meal together. I think the last time we did something like this was in the first half of 2009, when Jia Chee was still around. We reminisced about first year and Farrer and Jia Chee for a bit. They left to watch a movie (which Sharon insisted on watching because George Clooney is in it) and Wan Jie and I got Hello Pandas and came back home.
Been listening to 21 Guns by Green Day and Mad World by Adam Lambert. Haha. Unsure if they're good choices though, as to me, they have a slightly depressing feel to them. And I'm on my psych rotation at the moment. Transference? Sigh.

I've got a backache. Lower back, around L4-L5 region. Most likely to be a muscular strain, though this is a self diagnosis. Hurts when I extend it. Sigh. Probably due to incorrect posture when sitting.
Hopefully will be fully clear come Monday.

TESTIFY TO LOVE

All the colors of the rainbow
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation lives to testify

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
when words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every stop to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart will speak
what love has done

Wynonna