To all who are mugging for exams... some encouragement and a timely reminder to smell the fresh air and enjoy the freshness of rain. =)

The glory that shines from within us is not our own; it is God’s glory and His alone. Our brother, Paul, explains that we are jars of clay – fragile, chipped, imperfect – exactly as God designed us to be. In this way, others see the “all surpassing power” of God through our weakened frames and shattered lives. We are monuments of God’s grace with an inscription written in God’s own hand: “within this earthen container, the one true God is at work.”

Yet we try to put our own “shine” on our simple jars of clay. We maneuver and posture to make our jars looks better. We decorate the outside with ecclesiastical “vain glories” that we call image, power, position, wealth. Quite simply, we try to make ourselves appear more than what we are, failing to grasp that God loves us just for who we are – His own creations.

When we try to make it look like we are the ones who shine, we inevitably reveal our “easily surpasssable power.” Yet this gives us greater understanding that in our weakness, God is strong. His light shines through even greater; His strength is revealed when we acknowledge we are God’s jars of clay.

- Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotional

***

It's when we lack a necessity, when the common becomes scarce, when there seems to be nothing to pull us back from the darkness that constantly threatens to shroud us ... and when we turn to Him - that we realise that indeed, we have an abundance promised to us, this overwhelming supply by He who provides.
And although the tendency is to whinge and whine and be generally irritable and grumpy when exam season is upon us, there is reason for thankfulness, for the fact that we have ample opportunity to learn, no? =)

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

- Matthew 6:33

More quotes...

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.

- Martin Luther King

Each of us, in the journey through mortality, will travel his own Jericho Road. What will be your experience? What will be mine? Will I fail to notice him who has fallen among thieves and requires my help? Will you? Will I be one who sees the injured and hears his plea, yet crosses to the other side? Will you? Or will I be one who sees, who hears, who pauses, and who helps? Will you?

- Thomas S. Monson

If we don't stand up for children, then we don't stand for much.

- Marian Wright Edelman

We, and all others who believe in freedom as deeply as we do, would rather die on our feet than live on our knees.

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out.

- Vaclav Havel

Everywhere in these days people have, in their mockery, ceased to understand that the true security is to be found in social solidarity rather than in isolated individual effort. But this terrible state of affairs must inevitably have an end, and all will suddenly understand how unnaturally they are separated from one another. It will be the spirit of the time, and people will marvel that they have sat so long in darkness without seeing the light... But, until then, we must keep the banner flying. Sometimes even if he has to do it alone, and his conduct seems to be crazy, a man must set an example, and so draw other souls out of their solitude, and spur them to some act of brotherly love, that the great idea may not die.

- Fydor Dostoevsky
"The Brothers Karamozov"

When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.

- Patrick Overton

Family isn't about whose blood you have. It's about who you care about.
- Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Events...

Anyway, to those who read the last post and were curious, I did not give in to the cravings. Haha.
So, today didn't start off as well as I'd have liked. I received this email telling me that my tutor did not receive my assignment for marking although I distinctly remember submitting said assignment together with my group members. So I had to reprint the whole assignment and resubmit it. But it ended well, because the person I had to resubmit my assignment to also remembered ticking everybody's names off when she collected all submitted assignments. So long as there was a record that I wasn't late in handing in the assignment in the first place, I'm OK.
And then John called me at 7 in the morning to tell me he was taking Zepeng to the ED because of what John said was "GI bleeding". Apparently, he was vomiting blood. So when one of the lectures got cancelled because the lecturer couldn't open his powerpoint file (which ironically was on upper GI bleeds), a whole bunch of us went to see him. The ensuing conversation was hilarious what with all the descriptions of what was going on as well as the DDxes we came up with. And then we got chased away by a nurse because there were too many of us in that cubicle. And also probably because we were laughing too loudly and making too much noise. LOL. Oh, and Zepeng was discharged and met us all in the LT after the neuroanatomy lecture.
So after that, we continued with our lectures and then my OHS group went on the mandatory field trip. Lo and behold, we got lost on the way back, ending up in Keysborough on Damien's GPS' directions to Brown's Road, Clayton. LOLOL.
Eventful day, much?

Cravings...

I've a craving for Korean Ramyun. The instant type. With the yummy soup that is the spiciest instant noodle soup I can find. At 12.19 in the morning. HELP!

Ok, I sound crazy. LOL. =D

Friendship...

EDIT: Just because I feel the truth in these words... Hope IS eternal. =)
=D

=)

How true...

Definitely...

You know who you are, BFF!

* * *

I remember a time when writing in classmates' autographs was the craze in school. I looked forward to penning lines in the books with multicoloured pens and decorating those entries with stickers of all shapes, size and colour. Those were the days when my classmates and I would borrow those books home and mull and agonize over the words that would be inscribed. How to make it interesting, exciting, memorable. Because to our 12 year old minds and hearts, the transition from primary school to the mysterious environment of secondary school would inevitably lead to separation and the demise of relationships cultivated in the 6 years we spent together. And that the messages in the autographs would be the only mementoes of those hours spent in the classroom with only the whirring of ceiling fans in the background, of scrapes and tears and laughter and tomfoolery. It was bittersweet; the anticipation of a mature evolution of self against the backdrop of rents and tears in the fabric of childhood friendship.
I miss my primary school friends. The simplicity, naivete and innocence that was so apparent in our interactions, the many games we played during recess, the many blunders we made during PJK and classes, the prank played on a teacher involving a terrapin from science class, the trials and tribulations of the dreaded final exams... I would not be where I am now without these memories to mould me. I miss those times, yet I know that time moves on... as should I. Right?

Really really out of the blue update... =) aka because Fiona bugged me to

Haha, the title is so long it could be a post in itself =P.
Days are getting warmer here. Had to switch on my fan to sleep last night. And it's still only the beginning of spring. This worries me because summer's looking to be a scorching one. =(
I realised that I really have pack rat tendencies. Which extends beyond the usual gifts and nostalgic memorabilia, but also to food. Especially junk food. Whenever any of the supermarkets have discounts on chocolates/biscuits/starbursts/squirms/potato chips, I have this urge to buy them and stock them up. Until I realised recently that I have waaaaaaaaay too much junk in the kitchen cupboard. LOL. And Fi, don't you dare say anything about my weight! =P Think I don't know you? LOL.
Other than that, not much of a difference. Completed the renal/rheumatology rotation. Starting gastro tomorrow. Haha. Which really hammers in the fact that the year is drawing to a close now. Because the rotation after that will be the last rotation of the year and I'll be in anaesthetics/respi. That means exams are uncomfortably near now. Sigh... OSCEs too.
And Ian and Ivy's wedding is in 2 weeks time. LOL. Which will be exciting. =)

Ramblings...

I have been asked many times why I like oncology and why I hope to specialise in so depressing a field. People have told me that I am setting myself up for heartache and sorrow. But there is a satisfaction in helping someone who is in such considerable pain just experience a moment's relief. There is a joy in the health of a patient in remission who is doing well. There is a contentment in just improving the quality of life of someone such that he or she is able to enjoy life. There will be many times when there is not much that the doctor can do in terms of managing the disease. And it is heartbreaking and frustrating when that happens. But then you get a warm smile from a patient; or the patients thank you despite the fact that there isn't much that you can do; when they leave, perhaps a little more reassured than when they entered the room; it's times like this that make me even more determined. And when you do get the patient who is doing well, who is in long standing remission, it makes the victory all the more sweeter.

Pic quotes...

This was the Irish blessing on the farewell card my Asean mates gave me back in 2005... with their well wishes inscribed... I still have that card today.

Ah, happiness! Sounds so simple, eh?

Happiness in the palms of your hands...

Live out your dreams! =)

Finally! Update...

I've been neglecting my blog for quite a while now... have not even written anything about the UK trip, in which the scenery was breathtaking. The jet lag was horrible though. LOL. I took so long just to attune my body to Melbourne time. There were days when I woke up at 2am, when some of my friends have only gone to sleep. But the memories of the trip are worth it. =)
Anyway, school's started and I'm currently on the oncology/breast surgery rotation. It's been pretty good so far, although my group is now isolated from the rest of the cohort. This semester is going to be tough though. Especially since there's so much more expected of us compared to the first semester. But with God's grace and my family's and friends' support, I will carry on. =)
Had to reformat my laptop last weekend. It just decided to die on me and not start Windows normally. I had to reinstall Windows but fortunately, I had backup from the last time I reformatted, which was last year. Plus most of my work this year is stored in gmail, so I did not have to suffer catastrophic loss. =)

Update...

I love this song.

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way,
He works in ways we cannot see,
He will make a way for me,
He will be my guide,
Hold me closely to His side,
With love and strength for each new day,
He will make a way,
He will make a way...

I always find encouragement and comfort in the living God that I believe in, that He can and He will make a way in difficult situations. To know that He will never leave me nor forsake me. To realise that He is an infinite God of infinite possibilities. =) He never fails to cheer me up when I feel disappointed, to calm me down when I lose my head in distress, or to remind me of all my blessings when I am disgruntled with my circumstances.
Plus this also reminds me of that one Sunday back in Sunway Lagoonview where Wendy and I were talking about our favourite songs, me on my bed and Wendy on Kohila's bed and both of us just randomly started singing this particular song. Wendy dear, I miss you!

CONGRATULATIONS!!

To my dearest sister, Fi!
CONGRATULATIONS!! Was it ever in doubt that you'll graduate with FIRST CLASS honours? =D The world's your oyster now. =)
I'll see you in Scotland soon!!
♥, Chris.

Yet more quotes...

Some of the quotes that I found inspiring. =)

Images...

I love Google Images. =)

Weird and random...

There are pages in everyone's life that are blank. Pristine. Clean. And there are pages that are meant for reading. And the words weave a story that is compelling, a tale fraught with meaning and a depth that cannot be fathomed with just a skim of the pages. These words speak deep when one reads between the lines. The question is this: do we take the time to actually do so?

There is always a story behind a face, behind a heart. And sometimes, the stories are not what we expect. Hidden sorrow, tears, desperation, depression... one may never know until one listens. Unfortunately, human nature is one that seeks self gratification. And the love of one's voice may deafen said person to the sounds that tell of the lives others lead.

Thoughts...

Silence is golden.

Except when there's injustice.

And a friend is at the losing end of it.

What would you do if there was an opportunity to speak up?

To act out?

I really wouldn't know what I would do.

Self preservation is a trait I am guilty of having.

Even if the circumstances rankle and rile me up.

I have not been in such a situation yet.

But I have thought about it.

And although the course of action should be easy, because really, the decision shouldn't be difficult, I find myself conflicted.

So what would you do?

* * *

In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

- Martin Luther King Jr.

Random quotes...

People always say that, when you love someone, nothing in the world matters. But that's not true, is it? You know, and I know, that when you love someone, everything in the world matters a bit more.

- Sean O' Keefe in Jodi Picoult's Handle with Care.

ten days of perfect tunes
the colors red and blue
we had a promise made
we were in love

to call for hands of above
to lean on
wouldn't be good enough
for me, no

to call for hands of above
to lean on
wouldn't be good enough

- Heartbeats by Jose Gonzalez

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

- Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

It's a change
that reaches down and suddenly lifts you,
At the end
of a rainy day when you sat alone and cried.
It's a sign
that lets you know there is a life awaiting,
The day
you make your peace with the love in you that died.

When the pain dies down
And the dam becomes a river.
The fire burns out under the rain.
Can you feel it now?
It's gone from you forever.
Fading out under the rain.

Like a train,
That takes its time pulling out of the station.
It's a dream
that comforts you in the middle of the night.
It's a song
that carries you to a better emotion.
And now,
Now you know it's going to be alright.

When the pain dies down,
And the dam becomes a river.
The fire burns out under the rain.
Can you hear me now?
A simple conversation
Fading out under the rain.

The past is there behind you
and nothing is forever.
Dancing on the river again
da da da da da da
la da da da da
la da da da da da dum
la da da da da da daa

When the pain dies down,
And the dam becomes a river.
The fire burns out under the rain
Can you feel it now?
It's gone from you forever
Fading out turning away.

When the pain dies down....

-When the Pain Dies Down sung by Chris Stills

From Grey's Anatomy Season 5 Episode 22: What a Difference a Day Makes...

Today is the day my life begins. Today, I become a citizen of the world. Today, I become a grown up. Today, I become accountable to someone other than myself and my parents, accountable for more than my grades. Today, I become accountable to the world, to the future, to all the possibilities that life has to offer. Starting today, my job is to show up, wide eyed and willing and ready. For what? I don't know. For anything. For everything. To take on life. To take on love. To take on the responsibility and possibility. Today, my friends, our lives begin. And I for one, can't wait.

- Becca Wells as played by Amy Gumenick

***

Today is the day my life begins. All my life, I've been just me, just a smart-mouthed kid. Today I become a man. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you, to our future, to all possibilities that our marriage has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I'll be ready. For anything. For everything. To take on life. To take on love. To take on possibility and responsibility. Today, Izzie Stevens, our life together begins. And I for one, can't wait.

- Alexander Karev as played by Justin Chambers

Rainbows...

And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."

Genesis 9: 12-16

Good luck!

Best of luck, Fi! A good luck charm for you! Just in case you chance upon this blog again before any other paper. =)
And to Wendy as well, dear, best of luck! And persevere with the strength I know you have within you as well as the strength that God provides. =)
♥, Chris.

Before someone implies I'm a pot...

It's amazing the multitude of images one can pull up on Google by typing in the most obscure, abstract words. And the pictures are really beautiful and meaningful as well. As they say, a picture paints a thousand words. And it's true. I find myself awestruck by the poignancy some of the photographs depict. Or the raw emotions that sometimes make me catch my breath with the intensity. Plus the fact that one has the liberty to interpret the meaning behind the captured moment which allows for the imagination to work. =)

Friendship as a destination to arrive at... how apt! I personally am of the opinion that many people desire true friendship in their lives, but then many aspects of our lives make us deviate from the road that leads us there. Hypocrisy, fear, lack of social grace... it's difficult to establish a friendship with someone if we are constantly wearing a mask to hide our true selves. But a friendship that is lasting and enduring is of as great a value as unearthing a rare gem. =) And arriving at the destination after a gruelling, difficult journey makes it all that much sweeter...

I love the words on this. It's uplifting. Inspirational. Meaningful to both the speaker and the recipient. The writer and the reader. That the life one leads has made a difference to at least one person. That it was not in vain. There are many incidences when one may feel awkward, isolated, alone in the midst of so many people. It's easy to think that no one cares in today's day and age, where everyone is so caught up in the rat race, where nary a day passes by without someone doing something only because he/she has an ulterior motive. It's sad that loneliness and isolation can still exist despite the many people we meet daily. That one can still feel lost in a crowd of faces. But these words speak volumes. And the power conveyed is undeniable.

I have always loved cartoons/comics. Especially Calvin and Hobbes and Winnie the Pooh. For the simple reason that the relationships established between the characters are able to teach me a thing or two about the way friendships are meant to be: unchanging, accepting, lasting. It speaks to the child in me of innocence and trust. Of having faith in the kindness of people, in the very nature of mankind. And of the power of imagination. Whether it's in the 100 Acre Wood or in Calvin's house, the escapades and adventures never lose the warmth that defines the very heart of their interactions.

Haha, I'm strongly reminded of Joel who loves dolphins very very much. =D I find this picture very playful, joyful and it's almost like the dolphins are frolicking in the sun. Just the way spending time with friends should be like.Time spent building each other up. =) Time spent in enjoyment. That at the very basic level, there should be a realisation that it's fun to be with friends, that it should not be an obligation or a duty. I think that sometimes, people can lose sight of that, especially in the hustle and bustle of one's routine.

Pretty, isn't it? How every hand is integral in completing the picture. Kind of like how friends complete each other. =) Even missing one finger would make the star not a star. Right? =)

Quotes...

No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible.

- George Chakiris
American dancer and actor
1934-present

In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.

- Francis Bacon
English lawyer and philosopher
1561-1626

But groundless hope, like unconditional love, is the only kind worth having.

- John Perry Barlow
American writer
1947-present

Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.

- George Iles
English author
1852-1942

Update... finally. =)

For every recollection of him that involved a bullet or a scream, she would have a hundred others: of a little boy splashing in a pond, or riding a bicycle for the first time, or waving from the top of a jungle gym. Of a kiss good night, or a crayoned Mother's Day card, or a voice off-key in the shower. She would string them together - the moments when her child had been just like other people's. She would wear them, precious pearls, every day of her life; because if she lost them, the boy she had loved and raised and known would really be gone.

-Jodi Picoult, in Nineteen Minutes-

The excerpt above really haunted me in its beauty and the depth of the emotions conveyed. The sorrow of a mother's loss. The desperation in just holding on to the fragments of a life lived just so that the child will be remembered. The resemblance of normalcy before catastrophe struck. I'd recommend the book to anyone who loves to read.

I've been neglecting my blog lately. Sorry! It's been more than a month since I updated. LOL. In the meantime, I've been to Easter camp aka OC, enjoyed a restful Easter break, watched neurosurgery (deep brain stimulation), attended a wedding, attempted cannulation on a poor fifth year medical student and had cannulation done on me. =) Oh and I also broke my comb into two pieces: one with the teeth and the other, the handle. While I was combing my hair. Sigh...

Past reflections...

From my Facebook Notes, as written last year. For the sake of updating my blog, lol.

May 9th.

"Anne Shirley: Can’t you even imagine you’re in the depths of despair?
Marilla Cuthbert: No, I cannot. To despair is to turn your back on God."
- Anne of Green Gables

We all have faith. Perhaps a belief in things unseen. Or a trust in an omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent higher being. A confidence that we all have a part to play in the grand scheme of life, and the calm and peace that arises from knowing that all that happens is planned.
Yet we despair, we stress, we complain and whinge when things do not go our way. Faith is best manifested in acceptance - of both good and bad. For the trials and challenges we overcome are not without purpose. We learn, we change, we become better people for every hurdle we clear, every journey completed, every step taken.
We cannot see the trails we must tread, but at every fork in the road, we make a choice. A decision. To continue on the same path, or to change the direction. What governs our resolution? The here and now, or the destination we have in sight?

"We live by faith, not by sight."
- 2 Corinthians 5:7

April 20th:

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing, some people have entertained angels without knowing it."
-Hebrews 13:2-

Today's world is a dangerous place. And many times, I am inclined to be cynical and pessimistic, more inclined to believe in Man's evil than in the potential for goodness that lies beneath. We are brought up to be cautious, to not trust easily. We lose our naivete and innocence at an early age. I remember when I was nine years old, a boy went missing back home and until today, has not been found. The tension and fear and worry was almost palpable then. My mother would not allow my siblings and me to go anywhere unaccompanied. Rumours were flying everywhere- that the boy had been sold in Thailand, that his organs were harvested and put on the black market, that he had his limbs amputated to elicit sympathy from passers-by so that they would give generously to the little beggar boy...

It kind of makes me wonder, how am I to live the verse above today. I know I have to contextualize,and not compromise, but how do I show hospitality to strangers in today's day and age? Yet, God asks us to. And this verse struck a note in my heart. I do not know why yet, but perhaps it ignited this spark of hope that maybe, maybe all hope is not lost yet. Redemption is still possible, and not all mankind is corrupt and untrustworthy. Faith in God and His work in us and through us will never be misplaced. And He will never ever let us down. Call me idealistic, unrealistic or a Pollyanna, but I will have faith in Him.

"Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know."
-The Blue Man, as written by Mitch Albom-
The Five People You Meet In Heaven

Reflective...

Amidst the hustle and bustle that clutters life today, the magnificence of a seemingly ordinary day can be very easily overlooked. We forget to take a step back and just enjoy the blossoms of intense colour, the music of the rustling leaves, the feel of a breeze against our faces. And I realise that there are so many blessings to be thankful for. That gratitude need not be reserved only for the great and thunderous, but should also be demonstrated for the gentle and the unassuming. The extraordinary can often be found in the everyday, no?

Hospital...

I've completed my attachment to the Cardiology/Cardiothoracic Surgery unit and will commence my rotation with the General Medicine unit on Tuesday. I say that because Monday is Labour Day which is not a university holiday, but is a hospital one, so the residents on the unit are not expecting us medical students on Monday. Completed my MCR , so it was an immense relief. Upcoming is the first PBL seminar on osteoarthritis, which is due for presentation on the 18th of March. And I should revise the GI and respiratory histories and examinations.

***
Had a pretty bad headache yesterday. So I took 2 Nurofen tablets which Wan Jie supplied me with, and then one more after 4 hours. And slept. I think I slept until almost 4 in the afternoon yesterday, LOL. But it was worth it, because I felt much better after that. Jayne passed me this beautiful paper rose with a wonderful message in the afternoon. =) How blessed am I? I did not go to the Back to School Party though, as I did not want to overdo it.
Anyway, tomorrow is another day. =)

Realisations anew...

In life, there will always be moments where you feel broken, and the people who would piece you back are not by your side. When homesickness assaults your senses and it seems like your private world is crumbling down because of the darkness gnawing at your heart. When the loneliness gets too much to bear, especially at times that bring words like 'home' and 'family' to mind. It's always the pain of fresh separation that gets to me the most - the transition from the comfort zone of being surrounded by loved ones to the hectic schedule of studies.
But it's times where I'm at my most vulnerable that I am struck by how much I have been blessed to have a God who loves me so much. Because I know the reason I made the choice to leave home is based on what I stand to gain from it - opportunity, new experiences, a pathway to all things bigger and better in life... but the reason my King left His home was to save self-centred people like me. That He chose to suffer in order that I get to live. That it was not what He stood to gain that was the impetus for the decision, but what He could do for us. That He stepped into a world foreign to Him, to be an alien, such that we are saved.
How selfless is His love for us?
For an undeserving me?
It puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

John 3:16-17

Masquerade...

No man... for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true.

-Nathaniel Hawthorne-
'The Scarlet Letter'

We conceal our hearts behind masks that we wear to all, save a few. And sometimes, we get so accustomed to the false visage that we lose sight of who we really are, directionless, mired down in a bog of uncertainty and fear. But still, we continue the facade. Why? What exactly do we fear? To be made vulnerable? That our hearts will be trampled upon once we give of it freely?
The smile on the face may be hiding tears shed in the solace of solitude. The laughter that rings out may enshroud hurts and wounds invisible to the eye. We'll never know. But He does. And He cares. He looks deep into the crevices of our core and He accepts it. Unconditionally. And that is a balm, soothing and comforting to the weary.
It's a challenge to be truly open to another, to trust implicitly. But I'm trying. To not limit my candour to only those I'm close with. To have stronger faith. And to believe. There will come a point in time when the masquerade cannot continue. The masks will tear, crumbling to reveal the veiled. It will never hold indefinitely. So why not unmask now?

There is no privacy that cannot be penetrated, no secret can be kept in a civilised world. Society is a masked ball, where everyone hides his real character, then reveals it by hiding.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson-
'The Conduct of Life'

Reminiscing...

In the silence of contemplation, what runs through your mind? Right now, at this very moment in space and time?
Memories engraved with friends? Echoes of laughter that reverberated through childhood? Songs that were sung and played in the hours before school?

***

My childhood was spent in the upper floor of the place I call home, where hours stretched long and arduous, a never ending continuity. Those were the afternoons filled with reading Enid Blyton and Francine Pascal, nights spent with siblings in tidying the 3 bedrooms upstairs, though more often than not, I ended up being the observer. Those were the times where my sister, brother and I explored worlds unknown in the relative safety of the master bedroom, where anything and everything was possible, where pirates sailed courageously one day and space was explored the next. We fed our imaginations with tales woven with childish curiousity. Back then, it seemed that time inched forward, seemingly at a snail's pace.

And then, we grew up.

I suppose one could say we outgrew the naivete we possessed as children. We had busier schedules with exams to study for. Computer games overtook the games of make-believe that entertained us. Time started to fly. No longer were we insulated as we were as children. We were expected to be aware of what was happening in the world, to be cognizant of our surroundings. And realism overtook imagination. It stood me in good stead, I suppose, but sometimes, I wish that time would be remiss in its duty and I can return to fully enjoy the times when days were endless and full of possibilities untold.

The world spins madly on...

Why do we do what we do? This is a question that I find myself asking time and again. Because it doesn't matter how hard we try... it almost seems like no matter what transpires in our universe, the world as we know it spins madly on. It stops for no one. Yet we plod on. Step after step. One foot in front of the other. With aspirations to be a Somebody. To what end? I remember one of the caregroup lessons I had when I was in first year, I think. That we are called to significance, but not necessarily prominence. But human nature desires recognition. Fame. It's a failing that is not a stranger to many.
We can get so caught up in all the duties that we have, the responsibilities to fulfill, the tasks on the checklist, that we forget the heart of the matter... that it is the people who are important. To be able to complete one's work is a laudable achievement, but if it was at the expense of others' feelings and emotions, the very real feelings and emotions, wouldn't that make the success hollow?
The roads ahead are long, narrow and winding. Life was never a bed of roses. And even if it were, there are thorns to contend with. And if we expect the good in life, it is only fair that we should accept the bad with a measure of dignity. Not whining, not complaining about the hand that life/God has thrown us, but to deal with it the best way we can. To the utmost of our efforts.
For happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you get, be it your heart's deepest desire, or the antithesis of it. It's never easy.

Melbourne and clinical placements...

So I've been back in Melbourne for a week now... Classes have started and I start with a cardiothoracic surgery unit rotation next week. Which means I have to revise the CVS Hx and Ex, as well as the anatomy of the heart and its associated vessels and interpretation of ECGs. Had a nursing shift today - made beds, took obs and BSLs. Paid for my ID and the locker and had a walk around the hospital. Learnt where I can get free coffee and how to search for imaging and path results. Then back home.
Mummy and Papa flew in with me on Friday. Unfortunately that was in the midst of the heat wave and the temperature topped at 45 degrees. Original plan was to bring them to City during the weekend and then sign them up for the Great Ocean Road tour, but because of the weather conditions, those plans were scrapped. So we went to Queen Vic, Swanston Street and the Melbourne Central and Flinders Street stations. And they're confident in navigating Clayton by public transport now. They flew back on Wednesday. =( Miss you guys loads...

Sunway College...

Went back to college with Kohila to meet the lecturers yesterday, but only managed to talk to 2 of them. Quite a number of teachers who taught the 2006 cohort has left. Jay, Pn Suhana, Ms Lillian... and Ms Santhi is no longer in Ausmat, though she's still in Sunway... But anyway, it was still good chatting with her and Mr Pathma. I suppose it was not the best of times to meet Ms Ruma or Ms Vanitha as registration for the programme was going full steam ahead.
Lunched at Orange and had soya bean drink from the uncle in front of college. Then went back to Pyramid to eat Yogi-yogi. Yum. Left Pyramid at around 4.30 and reached home at 7.
Kohila gave me this really good book for my birthday. Mitch Albom's For One More Day. It's touching and heartwarming and has the Mitch Albom touch so obvious in his prior works. (Tuesdays with Morrie and Five People You Meet in Heaven) Thank you very very very much dear! The other day at Curve's Borders, my sister was just pointing out that book to me... she has the other two books. So, I am ecstatic to have received this gift. Thanks dear!
On another note, I have about 2 more weeks home. This holidays seem to have just flown. And pimples seem to have found an affinity to my face. Sigh... ah well, here's to a brand new start this term!

Childhood games...

I was strongly reminded of the game 'Pepsi Cola' that my siblings and I used to play with our friends when I saw this group of children playing it in the neighbourhood today. Their childish laughter and the simple joy of being able to step on another player's toes made me feel... warm and goo-ey. LOL. But it was worth it. The simple pleasures of childhood, eh? Where there was no such thing as race, religion, no awkwardness between genders, just pure joy, innocence and friendship in the company of others.
I know I've been neglecting my blog... but there's not much to blog about really. Life is good rest and relaxation back home. Which is actually the main point of having holidays, I feel. Heh.
Anyway, this is a little late, but HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Welcome, 2009! May it be one of blessings, LOL.